My Peace Corps

When I was talking about The Fountainhead I said that I was impelled to the Peace Corps because of a sensation of my life passing rather quickly and uneventfully and that I would wake up one day and wonder where it had all gone and if I had really ever done anything of value. I have always wanted to be extraordinary. How was not as important as that I was. As I’ve gotten older and hopefully a little more mature, I’ve had to settle for just being me. But I have never been able to give up wanting to be excited about my life. Peace Corps is an effort to continue that.

It was easy for me to settle into my comfortable well-paying career as an economic analyst, but I could feel myself losing my drive, and it was reflected not just in my productivity at work, but also in my discipline to keep to my running schedule, the number of hours I spent in front of the TV and playing video games. I no longer kept myself challenged. Peace Corps is an effort to change that.

And there is a narrowness that I find difficult to describe. A sense of having (nearly) always had access to things easily, of having no concept of how most of the world lived, of not understanding anyone except my very small (relative to the world) social group. And that narrowness means an inflexibility. A being offended at small things. A pettiness. I was scared of becoming a dull reflection of my former interests, no longer really pursuing anything. No longer learning. It is sort of like the spice-pilots of the spice ships in Dune, who can see enough of the future to avoid risk, but in doing so lock themselves into an rigid existence that is incapable of dealing with change.

Peace Corps is my answer to that. Not because it is the only answer or even the best answer, but because it is the best answer for me right now. Going back to school (again), law school or for a PhD, was an alternative. But I’ve already been through a lot of schooling, and I wanted to see what I could get from a different kind of learning. And besides, school can wait. The reverse is probably not true. Had I tried to go to law school with the idea of doing Peace Corps after, it is certain that I would have been swept up in the tide of career and family and had no room for Peace Corps. Indeed it is hard enough now to struggle against putting it off for two or more years.

So that is my big reason. I don’t want to be like the spice pilots of Dune. I don’t want to pursue an increasingly narrow path with options closed off as I take safer and safer routes. If biology dictates that that is bound to happen as I get older, I want to prevent it as much as possible.

There are other reasons. Learning a second (and third) language, seeing Africa, learning a very different way of approaching life and work, getting firsthand experience of an economy with very little capital and human infrastructure. But these are almost extraneous. They are what support and justify my decision to the rest of the world. They are, in the sense of Mr. Anderson’s morality work, the reasons I create after I’ve made the decision. They are good reasons too.

Objectivism and the Peace Corps

I finished The Fountainhead at 03:00 last night, and you can see by when I am writing this that my sleep schedule is given up for lost.  Since finishing the book several things have been rolling around in my head, and I want to get them written down.  This will be interesting for at least one of you in particular.  I should preface this by saying that I know virtually nothing of the philosophy of Objectivism except what I have garnered from The Fountainhead and the brief guide at the end of the book.

There seem to be two relevant themes: That man’s highest purpose is to pursue his own creative goals and that all transactions (and possibly interactions) between people should take the form of an exchange entered into freely by both parties.  I don’t know a lot more about it, so lets just take those two things as given and see how they work with respect to the Peace Corps.  I recognize that potentially only one of you is an avid objectivist, and I don’t exactly know where I fall myself, but I find it useful to evaluate my life from different perspectives that I run across, and this is one of the more interesting ones.

Its the second theme that is directly related to the Peace Corps.  Ayn Rand comes down pretty heavily against aid of any form in her book, and at first glance as an aid organization the Peace Corps falls squarely into that category.  But the idea of the Peace Corps as a simple aid organization has bothered me since I began to apply, and its time now to have a write frankly about what the Peace Corps is and isn’t.

There is a misconception that the Peace Corps is a charity.  It isn’t.  In fact, I posit that it is an exchange.  In exchange for the time and cost of sending several thousand people to different countries across the world, we earn enormous goodwill from local people and from governments, we increase the breadth of understanding of our own population and of theirs.  It is worth noting that the Peace Corps’ three goals are centered around the idea of cultural exchange.  The United States government does spend money, not a lot relative to other expenses, but the question of the Peace Corps should be thought of in terms of whether you think what we gain is worth the cost, and that falls entirely within the idea of a free exchange.

On an individual level, it is naive to think that volunteers are being altruistic.  There are some volunteers in my stage who are here because they want to help people, but every volunteer is also here because they are gaining something.  For some it is a boost for graduate school or a career, for others it is learning French or living in a different culture or seeing Africa.  And the vast majority of volunteers are not operating under the illusion of altruism either.  It is quite simply an exchange.  We give up two years of income and our life in the states and in return we get a variety of benefits.  Many volunteers are also motivated by the idea of helping people who are less fortunate, but it is a mistake to think that that is all they are here for.

And our work does much more to avoid cultivating a culture of aid.  As volunteers we are given no money for our communities except in limited cases such as if we want to hold an event, in which case we can apply for a small amount of funding.  In fact, from the start it is suggested repeatedly that we should avoid giving money to anyone, that we are not allowed to give our medicine to anyone, and that even our bicycles cannot be loaned out.

Our work itself is often envisioned as an exchange.  We give knowledge and labor and we ask something from the people we are working with.  If you are teaching English, you will get better results and be happier if you require students to do something in exchange (such as attend a gender roles discussion group or plant a certain number of Moringa trees).  This is an imperfect and informal mechanism, but its hardly a donation. 

All of this, for me, means there is ample space for a Peace Corps volunteer to pursue their service as an active exchange of goods as dictated by objectivism.  I’m almost certain that is not the conclusion that objectivists  would usually come up with, but in The Fountainhead Ayn Rand discusses the tendency of revolutionary thought to become institutionalized, and I think it is quite likely that that has happened with her philosophy.

Having been here only a short while (already four months!), I can already see and have already written about some of the negative impacts of aid, especially aid that only pretends to be aid, or that is poorly executed.  It actually makes the job of volunteers harder, because we have to work against the expectation that we’ll be giving people access to money through us.  I have yet to see exactly what the outcome of my work as a volunteer will be, but I am quite glad to have seen first hand some of what passes for aid.

How does this all relate to me and what do I think of it on a personal level?  Much of my decision was prompted by the feeling that my life was rather quickly and uneventfully passing me by, and that I was going to wake up one morning after a significant number of years and wonder what I had done for all that time, rather like Guy Francon in the book. 

While I had no illusions from the start that I was being altruistic, and indeed I have very strong personal goals from my experience here, I do hope that my work here has a positive effect on some people’s lives, and I don’t think that makes me a bad person, even in the eyes of an objectivist (I’m playing fast and loose with words here, an objectivist might argue that there is no bad, only the people who follow their creative drive and those who pay more attention to what everyone else thinks of them).

I will go into more detail on my personal goals soon, I promise.

Bush Taxis Are Awesome

I took a trip to Mamou this past weekend, which ended up being a rather large pain, mostly because I decided to bring my cat with me (I recently got a baby kitten, who is fast becoming an annoying teenage cat).  She hates cars. 

In Mamou we went shopping for jeans.  They are all crazy Chinese brands that of course I’ve never heard of.  It was a little like the mall, only much smaller and without air conditioning or annoying background music.  I tried on clothes in a little closet crammed with storage supplies.  We also built a solar drier, or at least put the screen, plastic, and rice sacks on a wooden frame.  I think it came out fairly well.  It has me thinking about how I can do a solar drier at my site.  The biggest obstacle for me is that I’d have to move it in and out of my house every day, since I don’t have a court to keep people from taking it.  So it would have to be smaller and I haven’t decided if dried mangos would be
worth the effort.  I suspect I’ll do it though, just because probably when November and December roll around I’ll be very glad for all the effort I put into it.

On the way back from Mamou my first taxi broke down, and we waited in a small town for a few hours while they tried to fix it.  Eventually the passengers convinced the driver to higher a new taxi, and we left in that.  I got good natured flack from them for not helping to argue with our chauffeur, which surprised me, but in retrospect I probably could have pulled a lot of weight with him.  Then our second taxi got a flat tire, so I didn’t get into Faranah until about 21:00, when I realized that I had left the keys to my house in Mamou.

Fortunately I left an extra key with the volunteer who lives closest to me, and I was able to find a car out to his site that night.  The driver turned out to be really nice.  Many people here have known a Peace Corps volunteer at one point or another, but this particular person actually knew a lot about what this volunteer had done and when he had been here.  He also gave me a discount, which was sweet.

So I spent the night at that volunteers site (it being too late for a taxi and anyway, we aren’t supposed to travel at night), and caught a taxi back the next morning.  Everything worked out just fine.  My cat spent the night with my family in Faranah.

Monday I had a meeting with a student from the university who wants to start an ONG.  He asked me to meet with him, so I was a little surprised when he asked me what we were going to do… His organization is a catchall of current buzzwords.  I told him he had to pick something and focus on it, and that he couldn’t simply through everything that people wanted to do into one organization.  It seemed he had plainly written the description out with the intention of getting funding, a thought that was confirmed when he didn’t know what to pick, waiting for me to tell him (since I’m white, I must know the other white people and what they would like to fund).  I tried to explain that he should not just pick something that could get him money, but also something that he actually knows something aout and would want to do.  I didn’t make much headway, especially since we ended up working on another ONG idea of his.  We worked on it because I told him I liked the idea, and that was enough.  His idea is to organize groups of young people all through Guinea to meet regularly and work to promote democracy and peace.  Not a bad idea, but again happening only because he thinks that is where he might get some money.  The aid culture at work.

He also wanted me to write out the introduction, do some research, and write out the objectives, at which point I told him that it was his organization and that he needed to do the work for it.  I could only advise and refine.  He is a pretty nice guy, and if he is somewhat money driven is that any different than anywhere else?  He invited me to go with him to the forest region of Guinea to celebrate Christmas and the new year.  I want to go there at some point (there is supposed to be a lot of wildlife and a game preserve down there, as well as Guinea’s tallest mountain), so I will probably take him up on that.

Tuesday I headed back to the other volunteer’s site to see what kind of health work he does and what his health post looked like.  I also brought him a 25 kilo sack of potatoes (his market is small and only once a week).  When I got there it turned out the chef de Santa for the sous prefecture (like a county) was meeting with them to go over paperwork and medical supplies, so I got to sit in on that.  It was interesting, if frustrating.  In the vein of many meetings here, they seemed to focus on some rather inane details, like that one entry of a patient for 2009 had the date written as 2008.  They are lucky that this post even keeps records, as many don’t, and the guy who works there is only a volunteer anyway.  After that I tried to get a taxi back to Faranah, but luck was not with me and by the end of the day I was resigning myself to spending another night away from my site.  Fortunately though a car from the Direction Regional de Sante for Faranah passed me, and were kind enough to
pick me up and give me a ride (it was a very nice ride in an air conditioned truck with a
whole back seat to myself).

And that is what happened in the last several days.  It feels good to be doing some work.  Even if it isn’t super productive or world changing, baby steps are good.  In the words of Guster, “Its simple, so says the Captain.  Face forward, move slow, forge ahead.”

The mailrun should also be coming this Sunday, which I’m excited about.  I don’t know if I have any packages, but I should have a few letters and the Peace Corps Guinea newsletter, and who knows what else.  So far I’ve read each newsletter at least twice, and letters tend to get reread also.  Sometimes you need something that isn’t a fluff novel and isn’t Ayn Rand’s The Fountainhead, and the newsletter is a welcome change.

The next few weeks before IST are going to fly by, and then I’ll spend a couple of weeks in Mamou for additional training, mostly in Maninke, the local language.  After that I’m home free at my site for the next (gulp) 21 months.  Of course, there will be lots of traveling in Guinea, and Mary is comign to visit in June and July, and perhaps my Mom and Chuck in November or December.

I have to remember to see about two things: the possibility of selling a donkey or several donkeys in Faranah, and the number of people and cost of a pirog.  There is a group of volunteers from an earlier stage who have taken my Niger river trip idea and changed it a bit, now being a donkey ride from Kankan to Faranah and a canoe ride along the Niger back to Kankan.

Boiling Water

I just spilled boiling water on my hand. Ouch. I have to work out another way of dumping my pot of water into my thermos. Its not too bad.

First off. I ate frog yesterday. It was deux. tastes a lot like chicken. Maybe even better. I could have eaten ten, except that I got tired of spitting out the tiny bones and I wasn’t that keen on eating their insides either. Needless to say I was pleasantly surprised. I was eating with some people from the Forestier, and I don’t think eating frogs is something that many other Guineans really condone.

Anyway, it feels like a lot has been happening in the last few days, which is perhaps a testament tohow little I’ve been doing lately. Monday and Tuesday I went to my office for a while, and Tuesday I got back on the internet and sent out the rest of my posts that had built up while the internet wasn’t working in Faranah for a while. I also watched soccer games Monday and Tuesday. There is a tournament here for female students, with ten teams from the larger cities in Guinea. Its supposed to be promoting women’s rights and generally showing that women can play sports and go to school. Most teams weren’t very good though, and they got laughed at a lot. I guess its important to think that it has to happen in baby steps, but I left the first game thinking that maybe the tournament was doing more harm than good.

The second game was Conakry versus Faranah, which are the two best teams in Guinea, and it was quite good. They tied 0-0 and then Faranah lost 8-6 in the shootout. I watched another game today between Conakry and Kindia that was not at all close, with Conakry winning 5-0.

Yesterday I spent a while with an intern at my organization, which is where I ate frog, and we set up a meeting on Monday to talk about what he wants to do, which is start an ONG. He has written out some stuff and he is getting ready to look for funding. Then I also went to the house of this guy I work with who is pretty cool. It is close to the bureau and we are going to work sometimes at his house. Finally, I also met the president and the … (cabinet member? I forget) of PEG, Promotion de les enfants … (forget again). Basically I think its like a student government with some extra developing work opportunities type stuff. I am going to meet with them next Thursday.

I was supposed to go to Layasando today but turned out the volunteer there had a sudden meeting, and tomorrow I am heading to Mamou for the weekend. The mail run arrives the following Sunday, and then I have Peace Corps staff visitors once each the following two weeks, and then there is only a week left before in-service training starts. Time seems to go really quickly when I look at the past, and very slowly when I think of the future.

Anyway, in terms of my spirits, I’ve been feeling pretty good this week, helped a lot by just being out and doing things, even if it isn’t getting a lot of real work done, it is laying the groundwork. When I’m being productive I’m nine times happier than when I spend the day reading in my house.

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bush camels

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