zot in Niger bush camels

I just put a bunch of new posts from the past month or more. Also, here are some photos:

A giant spider that will eat your face. There are about 10 in my bathroom.

My host brother and sister.

All the stagiares in their amazing clothes. By amazing I mean really amazing, not crazy.

Saying goodbye to my host family and going through the process of finding gifts for them and saying thanks, I’ve been reflecting on how I really like final gestures like goodbyes and thanks, but that I could really work on giving thanks for the small things during the time I know someone. During the eight weeks I lived with my family here, I spent a lot of time wishing I didn’t have to listen to babies cry or people fight. But in retrospect my family was very nice, in that they really tried to listen to me and to teach me things, without being overbearing. I have a feeling that I’m going to miss that when I get to sight and have to deal with a very enthusiastic and overbearing counterpart. Not that that is bad either, as I’d rather have a motivated counterpart than someone who doesn’t really care.

Anyway, think of how much more I would get out of relationships if I made the effort to let someone know I appreciated them while we still had time together. I’m gonna have to work on that.

And our stagiare who ET’d is not ETing after all! That’s pretty exciting. Tomorrow we have a farewell ceremony and then Friday we swear in, using the exact same oath as that of the vice president. I never was particularly patriotic, but I wouldn’t be surprised if I got a little teary-eyed during the oath. Oaths in general make me emotional, I guess I feel like they really mean something, an uncommon view these days I know. Call me old fashioned. In fact, I think I am actually becoming more old fashioned as I age. Its like as I get older my tastes are going back in years (thankfully skipping the 80s, 70s, and 60s). I’m probably around 1920 right about now, but part of me has successfully regressed to medieval chivalrous times or something.

There is a phrase from a book that I think of often, it goes something like this “form is everything, intent is nothing.” Like “actions speak louder than words,” only it makes me think of the conflict of acting with respect regardless of how you feel.

The first person from our group ET’d today. It was a big blow for me, and I feel for him. I was looking forward to getting to know him better, and I think we would have become very good friends. There are probably only ever a few people in stage like that, so it sucks to lose one of them.
But as rough as I feel right now, I’m sure he’s in much worse shape. The feelings of failure, shame, guilt, and just the social pressure not to leave are huge, so he probably feels pretty badly about himself right now, which is too bad. I feel like he should be proud that he made it two months in a country that is supposed to be one of the hardest places to do a Peace Corps service. So anyway, here’s to you. By far most people in the United States will not have the courage to do what you did, and that makes you strong for trying, not weak for failing.